For better or worse romantic relationships change us. Maybe you're dating an athletic type who inspires you to become healthier. Or maybe you're in a relationship where you find you're eating out more and exercising less because he's a total couch potato (been there).
A recent study examined exactly that—the degree to which a relationship changed each person in it and how that impacted the quality of the relationship (for better or for worse).
Researchers asked couples to individually share how much they agree or disagree with the following statements:
—I have gained more positive qualities.
—Some of my positive qualities diminished.
—I feel more competent and capable.
—I feel less competent and capable.
—My bad habits have increased.
Not surprisingly, "Individuals are more satisfied with and committed to their relationships when their self-concept has improved (either by the addition of positive content or the subtraction of negative content)…" In other words, if you made a positive change as a result of a relationship (like eating healthier or achieving a goal at work with your partner's encouragement) you were more likely to report you were happy.
And here's an interesting twist: The research also examined how self-change in relationships made participants more or less prone to infidelity. Spoiler alert: Those who felt worse about themselves as a result of the relationship generally reported greater sexual and emotional infidelity.
So, let's all strive to be like the lyrics of the Fabolous song Make Me Better and only date people who do. OK?
What has your experience been in a current or past relationship? Did it make you a better or worse version of yourself?
